The fear of the unknown paralyzes us from taking one step forward.
We’re presented with so many choices that often come with outcomes that we can’t prepare for or predict. If you can’t predict the outcome, does that mean you should quit?
NO!
It means you need to make your choice strategically, embrace the unknown instead, and take that one step forward even when you’re afraid.
Sure, easier said than done. But think about this: do you really want to risk missing out on a great opportunity?
Let’s help ease your fears a little bit so you can make your leap of faith.
Why Fear Make us Hesitant to Act
- Caught up in the comfort zone
- Afraid to deal with rejection or failure
- Analysis paralysis
- Traumatized by past experiences/choices
Fear is a natural reaction to some situations. As a child, I was too chicken to ride the super crazy tall roller coasters at theme parks. They looked really cool from a distance, but the closer I got to the line entrance, the more my heart started pounding.
And then the fear in me outmatched the excitement I had for the ride…
Then I had to deal with that temporary internal shame as I got in line for a less crazy (but still kind of intense) ride. Constantly telling myself, “next time I’m gonna get on that ride.”
After maybe 3 or 4 “next times” later, I finally got in line. The heart pounding was still intense but I had enough of “maybe next time”. I wanted to prove to myself that:
- I can do this
- I need to stop being afraid
Lo and behold, I finally approached the gate. My heart was pounding SUPER heavy this time; at this point, I can see the panic in people’s eyes of those in the coaster car just waiting to take off at high speeds. And all I can think to myself is, “this is my moment!”
The next car pulls up. The gates unlock. I threw my glasses to the side because I did not feel like waiting 3-ish weeks for a new pair if I lost them. Then the countdown began.
Slightly irrelevant side note: if you’re reading this and you’re an amusement park employee that works the rides, y’all don’t have to bully us with your fake countdowns that don’t even make it to two before takeoff! Let us mentally prepare darn it!
Anyways…
All I can think of after being launched at 100 miles per hour almost instantly was the feeling of accomplishment. “I can’t believe I finally did it after all these years; I finally got on the ride!” Then, out of nowhere, I get a huge adrenaline rush and I’m having an amazing experience. Heart was still racing wildly but still.
The rush was so strong, I was upset that the ride was over AND excited to do it all over again. I literally conquered arguably the scariest ride in the whole park!
Context: referring to the late Kingda Ka at Six Flags Great Adventure. RIP to the best roller coaster on the east coast…(not the image above)
I’ve basically become a thrill seeker ever since. To this day, I will front row every coaster you suggest to me just for the chaos of the ride. Sometimes, I’ll back row it too since sometimes you’ll get the full craziness of a ride from the back row.
But literally none of this would’ve ever happened had I kept saying “maybe next time” every single time the opportunity presented itself.
How often do you do this to yourself? How often do you get stuck in your head, paralyzed by the fear of the choices in front of you? How many “maybe next times” have you gone through?
Break Out of Your Comfort Zone
Humans are creatures of habit (mostly).
We have our daily routines, our primary genre of music or literature, and even our go-to food choices. Before Britani was on her revamped health and fitness journey, she was probably the most “chicken tenders and fries” person in my life. Mention any new restaurant option and that’ll be the first thing she’d look for on the menu.
Breaking out of habits is and almost always will be difficult. We, as humans, are not used to change; we like staying inside our comfort zones.
But the more we stay there, the less we’re able to grow and experience new levels of happiness.
I’m not telling you to completely destroy and rebuild whatever system you’ve already got going on. I AM telling you to consistently do something out of your norm.
And it doesn’t have to be a drastic action. It can be as simple as:
- Trying a new menu option instead of your go-to selection
- Getting your morning energy boost from fruits and veggies instead of Starbucks
- Waking up an hour earlier to give yourself some alone time at the start of your day
- Going out to social events around town when you’re free instead of staying home
These are just a few examples. Find what gradual changes you can make that will potentially propel you to a better life.
Overcome Your Fear of Rejection or Failure
This one hits home with me because I sometimes still struggle with dealing with failure.
I used to be the man with the plan, a backup plan, a backup backup plan, and maybe 4 other contingency plans. I was prepared……until one day EVERYTHING FAILED and I had nothing left.
I literally had to scramble to find a feasible option to work with. I wasn’t prepared, I was afraid to even try out of fear of that effort also going to shambles since everything else did. Honestly, I’ve never 100% recovered from failing –as I view it– so hard.
To this day, the fear of hitting rock bottom again stuns me from taking action sometimes. And I’m bugging so much about failure because some of us view success as a step to acceptance. Tell me if any of these thoughts sound familiar:
- “If I win this championship, everybody will think highly of me”
- “Once I get this job, my family will finally be proud of me”
- “As soon as I reach a certain weight/gain these muscles, people will notice me”
Some of those thoughts used to run through my head daily, especially the job thing. Granted, I have goals set for myself because of myself, but deep in my core, I sometimes still believe I’m not good enough to receive acceptance until I accomplish something great.
That, however, is a lie conjured up by my pride enhanced with my shame from failing so badly according to MY beliefs, not even anyone else’s. Because if you ask my family, they’ll easily have a LONG list of reasons why they’re proud of me.
Despite my fear of failing again and again, I still choose to keep going. Why?
Let me ask you this: if you knew you only had to fail 6 more times before you succeed on the 7th try, how quickly would you want to fail?
The point here is that failure is an inevitable part of life. But one way I choose to overcome my fear of failure is to take each loss as one step closer to success.
You won’t know how many more failures –or learning lessons– you have to go through before you win, but with each effort, you’re continuously taking one step forward towards achieving your goal.
Your Past Doesn’t Define Your Outcomes
People don’t simply get over their traumatic experiences like they’re nothing. Otherwise, Britani would be out of a job –jk jk, she’d easily pivot to some other great thing.
Past pains leave scars that prevent us from taking action because we don’t want to relive those pains a second time with whatever choices we make. Therefore, many decisions are left unmade as a defense mechanism.
But let me encourage you in saying:
What happened to you or what you’ve caused before does NOT define you now
So whenever you start having flashbacks of your traumatic experiences, remember this saying to help you take action. It will not be easy and I’m not expecting you to get it right the first time. But think about the good you’re potentially missing out on in life.
Which brings me to my next point…
It’s Okay to be Afraid While You’re Taking Action
It doesn’t matter how many inspirational quotes you read, motivational videos you watch, or self-talk sessions you have, at some point you’re going to feel afraid.
And that’s okay!
Just because you’re taking that one step forward, big or small, doesn’t mean you have to be fearless while doing it.
What’s not okay is to latch on to your fears and quit while trying to get ahead.
You are powerful. You are more than strong enough to overcome your fear along the way. It won’t start out easy, but the further you go, the less hesitation you’ll face.
You Don’t Always Have to be Prepared
Disclaimer: OSF is NOT religiously affiliated with anything. But I, the producer and copywriter, am Christian and will scarcely use some biblical stories to emphasize whatever point I’m trying to make. Deal with it.
Regardless if you believe in Jesus, Allah, Buddha, the universe/stars, or whatever other religions there are, there is an abundance of guidance.
In the Bible’s book of Exodus, God bestowed upon Moses the task of freeing His people from Egypt. Mind you, Moses was basically raised there, had a whole identity crisis after God talked to him, and had a stutter. You think somebody like that is equipped to single handedly lead a group of hundreds out of a region?
No! But Moses still did it. He overcame his fear
And he had God’s guidance throughout it all.
I share this story to say that even if you don’t have it figured out, you don’t always have to. Sometimes, a great opportunity starts by winging it until you get the hang of things. Sometimes, it takes a little helping hand.
Importance of Taking (Calculated) Risks
But in whatever you do, please be smart about it. You deal with uncertainty by seeking knowledge where you can.
Tackling a daunting task of a capacity you’ve never handled before? Seek counsel from someone who’s done something similar before.
Presented with several confusing decisions to make? Think through which option would yield the best results with the lowest drawbacks.
Even if you go into a situation blindfolded, learn to trust your gut. You may occasionally get it wrong, but you’ll at least feel confident knowing you made what you believed to be the best possible decision.
Control Your Fear; Don’t let it Control You
Fear was never meant to have dominion over your life. You control your decisions, not your fear.
Stay tuned for the next encouraging blog post, learn more about us, and listen to the related podcast episode in the meantime!
(Click here to listen to this blog’s podcast episode.)
