We often engage in self-talk when we’re alone, stuck inside our thoughts.
Sometimes, our mind is trying to figure out something we’ve been confused about. Other times, it’s reflecting on the day.
We need our inner dialogue to help us make decisions, check our feelings, and make sense of confusing problems.
But if you’re like me, your inner dialogue doesn’t treat you kindly at all. Instead, it gives you unpleasant thoughts and self-criticisms that take a toll on your mental and emotional wellness.
As much as we don’t want that to be the case, it unfortunately is. However, that doesn’t always have to be the case.
There are ways of navigating self-talk to help your mental health instead of causing it harm. And that’s what we’ll discuss today.
Understanding Self-Talk and Its Power on Your Mind
Self-talk refers to the inner voice that pushes you to do something or prevents you from doing something. For these moments, your inner dialogue could sound something like this:
- “Would this person be upset with me if I decided to cancel?”
- “This gift might make that person happy.”
- “Maybe if I keep putting in more effort, I’ll finally be appreciated.”
Other times, your inner voice sounds like somebody you know to mentally prepare for whatever interaction you’re about to have with that person.
This often happens when you have someone who usually starts debates or has a lot to say about something.
And we were never taught how to “talk” to ourselves; it kind of just happens, even at a young age.
This inner voice is a tool that somewhat protects, prepares, and guides us for many situations.
Negative Self-Talk’s Impact on Your Mental Health
But it also sometimes attacks, hurts, panics, and devalues us.
Do you frequently have any of the below thought patterns?
Thinking everything is black and white:
- “If I don’t finish first place, I’m a complete failure”
- “I’m not successful unless this exact situation happens”
Inserting yourself into everything:
- “Everything went wrong because of my mistake”
- “People would be happier if I wasn’t around as much”
- “I’m the cause of others’ frustrations”
Believing the world is falling apart:
- “Everything’s gone into chaos”
- “This disaster is too big to fix now”
- “It’s impossible to make this right”
Personally, I’ve been stuck in that black-and-white mindset for years. I couldn’t stop believing that there were other ways to reach success.
And because of that, I hindered my own ability to see other opportunities, including ones that were greater than I originally thought existed. I couldn’t take risks because I believed there weren’t other possible positive outcomes. My motivation was shot and it took quite some time to get it back.
None of these thought patterns benefit your mental and emotional wellness. All they do is raise your stress levels and drop your self-esteem.
Then, you end up doing or saying things that do your mental and emotional wellness more harm than good.
Inviting Positive Self-Talk
Instead of doing mental and emotional damage to yourself, learn to adapt and welcome positive self-talk.
Yes, I know; that’s easier said than done. And honestly, it’ll take daily action and patience to stop negative self-talk.
It all starts with a mind-shift change. Start by making it a goal to talk positively to yourself every day. Just don’t do it so much that it becomes unrealistic and dismissive; toxic positivity is a thing, too.
Some mindset shift examples include:
- Understanding that not every situation is black and white
- Treating yourself the way you’d treat someone you love and care about
- Starting to use affirming words instead of self-damaging words
4 Ways to Improve Your Inner Dialogue
If you’re ready to make a change in the way you treat your mind, start with these X tips. And these aren’t hard to do; all they require is for you to start!
Pausing Your Thoughts
We often engage in negative self-talk because of everything going on around us. There’s so much planning, protecting, and analyzing that we do to the point where it becomes overwhelming.
Tell your mind to shut up.
Instead of thinking about not being good enough, not prepared, or unfit for whatever task, just stop all trains of thought.
Allow your mind to fade into a void of silent nothingness. No thoughts, no mental preparations, just pure inner silence.
While that will be difficult at times, a good way to start is to take one deep breath in, hold it for 5 seconds, and slowly release. Repeat this a few times until you feel your mind slowly declutter.
Scheduling Positive Affirmations
You engage in negative self-talk often and randomly, right?
Counter it with frequently scheduled positive self-talk.
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself how awesome you are. Remind yourself that you’re stronger than whatever the day brings you.
During lunchtime, remind yourself how great of a job you’ve done so far today.
In the evening, congratulate yourself on accomplishing getting through another day giving it your best.
Meditating/Praying
Along with the positive affirmations in the morning, add prayer or meditation to the self-healing to-do list.
Give thanks to whoever you pray to. Or if you don’t pray at all, practice focusing on being. When I say that, I mean existing in this present moment, not getting caught up in today’s hectic schedule.
Whatever your religious/spiritual beliefs are, if any, set aside time to practice gratitude and speak positively about your situation.
Journaling
I do this quite a bit when I’m praying.
My written prayers are very structured; they start by dumping all the troubles I have internally. If something bothered me, I wrote that down. If I feel defeated because I didn’t reach a goal I planned to accomplish, I write it down.
The objective is to be open and transparent about the negative thoughts, and to “empty” them out of my head.
Then, once my mind is cleared of the negative clutter, I start with the positives and acknowledgment of whatever I’m grateful for.
Lastly, I end by either praising God for whatever reason or asking for something. Usually, I’m praying for direction for me to take one step forward toward healing.
You can adjust this method to your lifestyle, but the point remains the same.
- Grab a pen and paper
- Empty out the negative feelings inside of you
- Make space for the positive feelings to flow
- Practice gratitude with a clear mind
You Shall Overcome Your Negative Self Talk
Let this be your daily reminder as you continue taking one step forward toward mental healing. It won’t be easy and it won’t be quick, but every day you’re getting closer to a positively affirming mind.
We believe in you!
